Trying to be positive about life is an exercise

I am the most happy when I am making use of my creativity. To others it might be nothing but I don’t need to care about what they think! I do it for myself.

                          

Jane Norman Pleather Jacket
Monki Silver knit Sweater
Zara pleather shorts
Adidas Slvr Sneakers

Sometimes I feel like I am too busy with other things that I stop creating, because life gives you many things you need to maintain, I guess that’s a constant reminder for me to not take things for granted, because “ME” time is precious. And that’s why life is challenging and rewarding at the same time when you make that extra effort and accomplish something for yourself instead of just being a robot in order to keep going.

Thinking about it, In my free time I’d write on my blog, I post articles on my Facebook page, I create mood board on Pinterest and I create outfit post on Instagram.
These are the things that make me truly happy in the chaotic world, and I am glad to have found these great platforms to use my creativity. Happiness is where you make it. 
xB

Lena Dunham first Vogue cover – what does it mean to us?

It means, it is proven that you can do anything if you are a determined person with a passion in life and a goal in your mind. You can be who you want to be, and be comfortable doing it. Body image issue is for the insecure ones and it’s one of the major reasons why we are not moving forward in life.
Who says you cannot be the cover of Vogue US being a “plus size” woman(although she is only a 12US at most and a lot of high fashion brands go up to that but Anna already see it as obesity)?
If you are not the gen x,
y and the millennials, you probably will be dissing her, like what does she even do(but on the other hand, you
have no idea what has she done too)?

I am so glad that this is happening,
some people just don’t understand how much this world is changing its
shape in 2014! This post is telling you and me, that we don’t have to be a size 0 to be on the cover of the most influencial magazine in the fashion world.  This cover is telling you and me, that you can be in any shapes or sizes, and be great.

Just because society says no does it mean it will not happen and you shouldn’t even think about it? Well no, and yes you can! If you are a talented writer who is the voice of thousands if not millions of teenagers/ young adults / kidults of nowadays; if you are so influential and Inspiring like Lena Dunham, then the chance is you might get your first cover at age 27. Yes, she is one with all the connection one needs, to get in to the Showbiz, but then you really need to be able to express the “unexpressable” of the young generation to be her. Everyone is talking about her being photoshopped by Vogue, and here is her graceful response.

              “Some shit is just too ridiculous to engage. Let’s use our energy wisely, 2014.”

See, what you have to do is, not to response. To all the bullies and things that don’t really concern you, don’t waste your breath on them. 🙂

I have always admire people who can write and express themselves even of the most complicated situation as a young adult, hence I love coming of age movies, which is the best era in life. The 10 years when you are still figuring out who you are and who you want to be. Things happen in there may seem unimportant, however, it shapes who we become.

The younger generations nowadays are going through a lot of complex emotions in their daily life and they struggle hard for an identity. With the rich heir/heiress, the 30 under 30s, advance technology and smart devices leading on, it really makes a lot of people feel lost and think they are nobody with no self worth. But one thing I learn as I grow older is, I am sure if you have a passion about something, on or offline, just don’t give up. Persistent can get you where you want to be. It might take 3,5 or even 10 years. But if you don’t give up, one day you will be there. I have also learned that, being persistent about what you do is not the hardest, it is finding out what you want to do and who you are, can already takes up 10 years in life. So, when you are still young, spend some time to explore and do different things, get out of your comfort zone. Why? Below screen shot from Girls explains it all.

If you still don’t know what I am talking about, you can watch her first film Tiny furniture on youtube.

Well now you know that I am a huge Lena Dunham Fan.

Fashion, Beauty, Makeup, Makeover


What is your first thought when reading these words?

Are you very fond of these things?
Or
Do you think all of the things above are just shallow and superficial? And should we value less of these things in life but instead do more that are meaningful? Why and why not?

I am constantly asking myself this question. A part of me like beautiful things, clothes, shoes, handbags, anything that is beautiful and give me pleasure by just looking at them, like when I go to a modern art museum. Every month I keep telling myself not to buy stuff and try to save up, and every month I would fail. I cannot help but go into my favorite fashion stores to try on new clothes; pieces that flatter my figure, different style that makes life interesting. And going shopping with my mother is almost all I do every Sunday. It gives me and and her much joy, things to talk about and it bonds us like best friends.

On the other hand, I keep worrying for our environment, our mother earth, that consumerism is ruining the nature everyday. We buy clothes that we wear for one season, the next season they sit in the wardrobe and then it comes the following year, where they are being kept in the closet until we throw them away or if better go to charity. Shoes, bags, everything the same. With Fast fashion retail everywhere, and a limit budge every month, it’s really hard not to create so much garbage unless we stop consuming. I feel so guilty while thinking about this.

Today, I watched this video which makes me really happy and emotional for a while. I found a solid prove that appearance matters, in a good way.

Who would have thought, focusing on the beauty on the outside could actually help cancer patience forget about their illness for once? They have probably been feeling ugly and self concious for a very long time due to their illness or chemo therapy, and the production house which made this really did a great job. The smile on their face after they saw how they look in the mirror for the first time, really makes me very emotional. You can call it superficial or whatever you want, but I know these smiles are real.

My thoughts then lead me back to us plus size women, we are always being seen as the unhealthy ones, who are lazy and don’t do anything about our health. Well I would say everyone has their own story so I am not going to comment on this. Just like you can’t say a woman is very skinny and just assume she is not healthy. And I urge you to start today, no matter what size you are, treat yourself better, pamper your skin, wear some pretty clothes, put on some make up and get a fresh new look. You never know how good it could make you feel and how much confidence it could give you.

P.S not related thoughts – Nowadays, I get so bored hearing still the same thing from straight size people like Marie Kang trying to prove that they are better. Be honest, if you have to constantly prove that you are right, then you probably are one of the unhealthy one. Whenever I hear or read things like this, I will quickly shift my mind back to the beautiful things I see and forget about them.

B :p

The pursuit of being happy as a woman in any size

Grimes wrote on her blog about being a female musician and a human being, Here are a few of the quotes,

“I dont want to be molested at shows or on the street by people who perceive me as an object that exists for their personal satisfaction.


I dont want to be infantilized because i refuse to be sexualized.


I’m tired of being considered vapid for liking pop music or caring about fashion as if these things inherently lack substance or as if the things i enjoy somehow make me a lesser person.


I’m tired of being congratulated for being thin because i can more easily fit into sample sizes from the runway.


I’m sad that my desire to be treated as an equal and as a human being is interpreted as hatred of men, rather than a request to be included and respected (I have four brothers and many male best friends and a dad and i promise i do not hate men at all, nor do i believe that all men are sexist or that all men behave in the ways described above).”

Her voice speaks for many women I am sure.
We are all just human after all. Why do we have the pressure to live and do things base on society’s standard? What is society’s standard, or is it men’s standard (Because women also use men’s standard to judge many things)? But then, is part of the deal being a human is being criticised? That in our human nature, we just love to criticise? It is being used to vent, to express an opinion, to be used as a tool or weapon when we feel weak in the modern society?

As much as I want to have more human right as a woman, I think the most important thing is having women united before we fight towards having human equality.

We all know it’s really hard.

1st of foremost, mothers always criticise daughters of their appearance as they want their daughters to be a “better” version of themselves. Most of us growing up having low self esteem as we are never celebrated as a human being, but being celebrated based on mostly, how cute we look as a child, THEN our smart we are to have our achievements, as if all these mothers want to reflect themselves on their own child. It’s never ending bashing carry on from 1 generation to another.
Of course as being the child, we then bring this attitude to school bashing other female to release our rage, etc. You don’t see boys doing that unless they have a troubled childhood or being very closed to their mother, otherwise they have to have a bad father who use them as punching bags to have developed a bashing character.

2nd, most women and some men in different levels have to use their image/ appearance to strike an impression for their own survival, as human is attracted to “beautiful” things ( going back to what they have been taught by their parents since young).

3rd, It is also much easier to attack others by their appearance to defend oneself nowadays then being physically violence.

Afterall, most of us are not on the same intelligence or
education level, which again makes the goal of human equality very hard to achieve.

Coming back to the titled subject, how can we be happy with ourselves at any size? Because even with the issue of body size, the world out there is still just developing this “new” idea of body positivity, that woman or human comes in all shapes and sizes. But I mean, if you ask any kids, that if all the people and animals look the same in size and shapes, they will for sure say no as a direct answer. So this is all matters in our head whether we want to live under the common society’s rules. As long as you know what is the truth out there and that you live your life by your own rules and standard and try to contribute to the society. Who can judge you for who you are?

Even for Grimes, apart from the physical harassment, it is possible to ignore the rest.

The day will come for most of us although we are not
there yet, for you know, this evil act mostly come from jealousy and it is in our human nature, it is how we grew up living on earth filled of similar characters, it is implemented in our system by society and our parents, and it is a
defense mechanism.

So one can only hope that we would fight for the women and human equality in a timely manner. Until then, we will be fighting towards our own happiness.

Read the whole article from Grimes here.
http://actuallygrimes.tumblr.com/post/48744769552/i-dont-want-to-have-to-compromise-my-morals-in-order

10 Sentences That Can Change Your Perspective On Life

Sometimes you do see good positive posts on 9gag, and this is one of them.Out of all 10 of the photos, I am particularly moved by this photo above because I have been saying and trying to move out of Hong Kong for many years, and it has not changed since in the back of my mind.
However, in the recent few years things have changed; I am getting older, I am too used to the lifestyle in Hong Kong- the convenience I get living here. As I get more comfortable with life, with myself and certainly with my body size, it got me thinking that I should just stay where I am from, make a name out of it, instead of going somewhere (else) I belong.

Being a plus size blogger in Hong Kong is such a niche, at the moment, there are only 3 companies that are really selling plus size clothing here (Marks and Spencer UK6-22, Top Shop UK6-16 and Eplus in Apita 1XL-4XL), also I am yet to meet another plus size blogger. There will never be any new collection review, plus size bloggers event, brand promotion campaign etc, specifically for me to write about. So whatever I write, they would be things happening in the US, UK, Australia or Europe, it is quite hard I would say!

So maybe what the photo says – “Go where you’re celebrated not where you’re tolerated” is a sign? or it’s really what I needed to hear since this has always been my gut feeling, that I should migrate somewhere asap so I can be happy?

I have been bullied as a fat person. I get looks from most people when I walk down the street, and I get all sorts of wrong attention anywhere I go( I still get that nowadays). The young, insecure and sensitive me thinks everyone wanted to make fun of me because they hated me.

But you know what I have learned throughout all these years?

1. Not everyone care about you, they don’t have you in their head all day, and you are less important than you think you are. So stop thinking about what other people thinks about you and get on with your life.

2. Not all attentions are bad as some might actually be good – some might admiring you for you being you, so don’t take them all to heart. If you get compliments, simply thank that person, if it’s a mean energy, you might have something they don’t to cause that jealousy. They say, “when do you see a hater doing better than you?” Do your best as you for yourself and ignore the rest.

3. If you stop caring or thinking what other people thinks about you, you can finally just be yourself and do what you want, carefree. And all sorts of opportunities will come to you.

4.Do what you love with all you could for the sake of what you love, not for validation or success.

5.If you are not happy here, you are not happy anywhere. Happiness comes from within.

6. Make changes to welcome changes, you won’t get different results doing the same thing you have been doing for your whole life.

7. Be grateful of what you have and use what you have in you, stop complaining about what you don’t have. No one can have it all.

8. Show gratitude and care for your family, the ones you love and the ones who care for you.

9. Apart from work, don’t take things too seriously, just go with the flow when you are in a crowd. If it gets too complicated,decide for yourself if you would rather be alone or be patience with others.

10. Last but most importantly, think ahead for your future but treasure what you have NOW.

There you go, I have learned pretty much all these in the past few years and this is why I am a much happier person than I used to be, I am not that insecure and sensitive girl anymore and I care a lot less about what others think about me.
I feel that my life is changing little by little, and it’s certainly in the right direction.
After all, I am already an mature woman who knows her things, right? XD

Coming back to my plus size rant, there are hundreds of brands out there now
in the plus size fashion world, lets see how I try to make a hub out of it on the internet, for I am a Netizen than anything else.
Watch this space for a world united plus size fashion directory in the making, and hopefully one day I get to travel around the world to different plus size events!

Xo B